I can barely keep up with the daily chores necessary to keep my household
Things have been busy in our household. Of course, there is the usual juggling: husband's ever-demanding job and school coursework, the kids' activities, school, and playdates. (Yes, I just wrote "playdates." I don't think that I ever had a playdate growing up. Kids now-a-days!)
What's been really taking up a lot of space in my mind and schedule, however, is the pursuit of a
I've gone to charter school info meetings, orientation meetings, tours, meetings, doctor appoints, conferences, visits, etc.
And at the end of it all, I feel a bit hopeless.
Yes, I have a penchant for dramatic flair, but I am feeling increasingly desperate and sad.
I respect the privacy of my four-year old, so I prefer not to go into all of it here, but there are some concerns about his processing and development of language. This makes the challenge of finding a school that will fit his needs a real challenge.
The ante has been upped, and I am struggling to keep up.
The process of finding a school that is suitable for him has triggered some of my worst fears for him as an African American, black, male child.
I am afraid that he will be labeled.
I am afraid that he will be misunderstood.
I am afraid that his love of learning will be stifled.
I am afraid that his spirit will be crushed.
I am afraid that he will become a problem.
I am tempted to keep him home with me.
To shield him from the mess that is urban public education in this country.
To homeschool him.
I fantasize about days spent at the park, lessons gleamed from getting our hands dirty in yet-to-be-built container garden.
Of science lessons at the beach or lake.
And while that would be great for me, I am not sure if homeschooling is what is best for him. I often find myself in conversations with people who have strong opinions about educational options for children. Some are obviously completely anti public schools. Some are committed to sending their children to public schools no matter what. Some are committed to homeschooling, no matter the sacrifice. Some believe that private schools are the way to go. And some won't send their children to a school that isn't associated with whatever their religious persuasion is.
I am committed to doing what is best for each and every one of my children.
I am committed to following a path that is good for their mind, body, and soul.
I will choose that option, whether it be homeschooling, private school, or public school.
But I am not naive about the state of public education in this nation. Especially for little brown and black children.
G-d help the child who is assigned to a under performing, non-innovative public school. A school full of crowded classrooms, little outdoor space, overworked teachers, no arts, little music, and in the heart of the ghetto. A school that is more of a holding pin than dynamic educational institution.
G-d help the child whose parents cannot afford private school, or who has no hope of getting off of the waiting list of the sought after charter school.
G-d help the child with limited educational options.
There are way too many of those children in my city and in this nation.
My neighborhood school is "good" everyone tells me. The speech-language pathologist. Our neighbor who works at the laundromat. The school does a great job educating Chinese kids. Caucasian kids. Filipino kids.
But not Black kids.
Not kids like mine.
